Need A COMEBACK

Lazy

• Hate my current life style
• Feel unsafe ( that crazy stalker, ringing my door bell) and insecure of where I am living ( that crazy man who knocks on my door whenever I am home alone)
•  I am claustrophobic... I don't like compact space ... don't like to share a small space with anyone
• Feel this weird wind, like my luck is blocked.  This vibe passing behind me, feel the wind at night time.
• Can't continue to live my family.  1. Kevin never sleeps at night time.  2. Mom blames on every mistake she and the family makes; i am an easy target.  3 Dad is too dirty and disgusting.  I want to live long and not short due to 2nd hand smoking.  
• I need my own space, own laundry machines, steam mop, and clean environment.
• Need to pursue my dream career

Dad pisses me off with his talking about cars while I love talking about my own laundry machines.  He doesn't get it because he never done his own laundry.  I always have to do it.  I don't even have the strength to carry his dirty laundry from the second floor and carry it to the laundry mat.  Argggg.

He dirt his cigarette ashes all over the house,especially the bathroom.  Feel like a maid in the house then a daughter.  

I can't take this Shit no more!!!!

Ocean eyes

• So lately I worked in Staten Island and it was one of the longest commute work site I ever had to travel too. In fact I enjoyed the commute to Staten Island  because I am getting paid to sleep on two round trips buses , round trips ferry ride and a round trip R train to N/D to my destination.  By the way, this is Klynn and my boss, Yaro; they are a couple dating.  It was tough to take a picture of them together because I see them pulling and poking each other.  Sometimes Yaro paired me and Klynn as working buddies.  He is one of my mentor and I learned a package value of a survival kit of adulthood.  It's hard but he taught a lot like in the future always mortgage a home and rent it out.  Always learn how to channel future life issues.

 

I can't believed this Wednesday , one of this guy screamed at me and my other mentor.  I was so pissed off and was talking it out with my other colleagues and they tried to calm me down.  Somehow my boss and one of the other protector heard it since he was in the same place and time .  My boss kept questioning me but didn't want to share the bad parts so I only shared the good parts where we apologized and walked away.

Geez, that man got off the wrong side of his bed.  No need to be rude.

What if.... I see a shooting star

Yahoo!  My friend ,Amanda and I haven't seen each other in 6 years.  We switched  contact # through Facebook , and finally chose a day to meet up.  Our two guys friends, Leslie and Jian, ditched us but we don't let that held us from meeting up.  At our dinner table we shared so much of our past adventures.  Amanda and I majored in Individualized Studies but different concentration.  We both did study abroad.  She went to Europe and I went to Asia.  She asked me what my final project and I did a Vlog and 45 pages of footnotes.  We are such free spirits people.

As we were walking by the Financial district, the neighborhood where I grew up for 23 years old my life, we saw a shooting star.  Wasn't sure if it was a shooting star but it flew so fast and pretty that we made our wishes as it flew.  I hope our wishes will come true.  Walking in the financial District brought back so many great memories and she thought I can have walked home unfort.  told her that my family moved to Bensonhurst, Ny in Brooklyn.                                                                                                

Blowing out the candles

Happy Birthday Dad!  I can't understand why he wouldn't make a birthday wish before he blew out that one candle.

NYC LIVE ART

Worst day ever.  I had to choose between two parties.  I was invited to my good friend's birthday party vs this art gallery event with Mounina.  At the end I chose the art gallery because I went to B&N bookstore to buy the study guide to my dream job unfortat. I was stupid enough not to call in to ask the book store if they carry the book, but they didn't so I had to ordered at the customer services desk.  

I don't understand art so I didn't enjoy it. If I get to choose I would have chosen singing Karaoke instead besides I could have made new friends and do what I enjoy doing, Singing karaoke.

Why in life I tend to make the same mistake?

2w3w

Cloud tastes like marshmellow

Below are inspiration and Motivation words.  Each person has light N' lift up my confident.

"Hello wonderful!! All will be well if you WANT it to be. You are a winner. But winning does come from sacrifice. You do have to persevere through every trial that comes your way then you can enjoy the fruit of your labor. God loves you. And life will get better you just can't give up. Love yourself, and take life one day at a time. Don't worry about the future. Set up your future by living for today. Be encouraged. I'm always here if you want to talk"~ATyshan  .  My friend from my French class

"Just keep trying"~ Jade.  

"心情不好时，要经常问自己，你有什么而不是没有什么。如果你觉得不爽，你就抬眼望窗外，世界很大，风景很美，机会很多，人生很短，不要蜷缩在一小块阴影里。如果你的生活已处于低谷，那就，大胆走，因为你怎样走都是在向上"~ Bing.

 i support u no matter wat u do~ Ling


"What are you talking about? You were afraid when you take the driving test 7 times. But you still did it then you need to have the same addicted but with this city test. You can do it. ~ Mounina

When the clock Tic-Tock

My roommates and I has got together for the very first time in 2013.  They wished me a happy Chinese New year and we also went to celebrated Mounina's Early Birthday.  Our original plan was to Bowl at Chelsea Piers but the costs of the game and rent of the shoe was beyond expensive.  Instead, we went to Chevy , a Mexican Restaurant and ate Spanish Cuisine  Tiffany met a new European Black guy and is now her current boyfriend.  I am so proud of her.  Mounina , on the other hand, nailed a job , working at the Yankee Stadium as a Security Guard.  She worked hard to achieved her certificate and courses.  Tiffany is even luckier. She is ahead in the game.  She worked hard to nailed her dream job.  She done many internships and temporary jobs , and went through a roller coaster to passed her social worker career.  She now works for the city of New York.  

She and my cousin, James , who is a MTA Troll and Bridges officer , also works for the City of New York.  

Both recommended me to work the city.  They see potential in me. Ever since Board Of Education in NYC, everything requires taking exams.  I am a terrible test taker and is worried that I won't do well.  Before they even recommended the city jobs , I have no confident but I was thinking of pursuing this job as my career.  I always wanted to be part of working for HRA/Dept of Social Services but my lack of common senses and test taking, I don't know how I can pursue my dream career.  With the skills I was gifted and my passion that comes straight from my heart, I want to continue to walk on this journey and understand from first hand to help people like me, from the lower- income family with food stamps and public government housing.  I , myself , wanted to apply but was afraid of the effects of my  student loans.  Sometimes I wonder if God is challenging me or want me to find my own comfort voice.  Is that why I am in a search of myself?  

I am very lucky to have two bosses , Anthony Bruni , the previous internship supervisor who gave me the chance to work with trust in a group of wonderful HR family.  I was hands-on taught with the software  and my own computer and desk.  It makes me believe in myself that I am a useful person.  The second person is my current boss, Yaro.  Although this job doesn't pay well, but with the maturity group of this inventory job-family, I was taught with developing my maturity skills.  They have taught me so much that it has notch myself to the next level of life.  I was taught to envision my life and learn to be smart in life.  For example, mortgaging and I have been thinking about it.  

I am so happy that: God, Mounina , Tiffany, James, Ling, Bing, and A Tyshaun ,Allen, Mom, and Aunt Sandy,and Wen have never given up on me.  They believed that I should keep believing and keep trying until I succeed.  Ling has opened up my eyes and look at my future beyond in life.  Her words has inspired and lift up my confidence.  Thank you so much!

All I know is the GOD LOVES ME and that matter the most. I promise myself that I will try my best to score well on that exam , even though I know I am not a test taker , but I put all my passion in a job that will turn into my career.  No matter how hard I try, I will give it all my best to my strength to work hard.  So, god, I am praying for your strengths and support in me.

At CHEVY'S

I told myself that I am not a worth-less person.  I will learn to boost my confidence day by day.  

I have several funny clips of myself, recorded by Mounina and Tiffany but these idiots still haven't give me any.  Err... so upset.

A Step Closer to Happiness.

  "SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?"
SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"
SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "If you must know, I make $100 an hour."
SON: "Oh! (With his head down).
SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow $50?"
The father was furious.
DAD: "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $ 50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

DAD: "Are you asleep, son?"

SON: "No daddy, I'm awake".
DAD: "I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $50 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling.
SON: "Oh, thank you daddy!"
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

DAD: "Why do you want more money if you already have some?"

SON: "Because I didn't have enough, but now I do.

"Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $100 worth of your time with someone you love? If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family and friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family.

Some things are more important. "

Credit to whoever posted this

When I read this, I was very touched.  When I was little, my father never spend a time with me and my brother.  Even if he did have time, he would give all his time to his nephews and siblings especially his sister and brother in law.  Now when I am all grown, he tells everyone that how great of a father figure he is , but he spent all his time being a man and constructing his sister's houses for free.  It's free of charge.  How unfair life was and still today.
My mom is more of a person who spent most of her time with us, but , because, my dad was a jerk at times , he didn't bother driving us to different places , even though he has a car.  What my mom did was signing up all the free adventurous camping and cpc.  When I was a teenager, my mom encouraged Kevin and I to work upstate in the middle of NYS Campjng .

It makes me think and believed that if I ever start my own family, money isn't all that.  As long I have a stable annual income and a condo, I want to spend as much time with my own children and family.

I want to live happy life and by starting that... I must change my attitude and start believing.  I know it takes time to pursue and chase after my dream career especially when I am living in a terrible life economic crisis period, but I w on't give up to keep applying until someone hears me.  Someone who can train me to different software and developed maturity to my working ethnics.   I won't give up that easily.  Just continue to pray and speak up to god, and I know he will hear me.  No matter how hard my road is to walk, with the right tools and spirit, I will come through and make a breakthrough with my life.  

What Oprah Winfrey said " ... Encourages us to finding our significance".  Don't do it or take it as a job, do it because it's a passion and giving back.  In my opinion, it's all how happy a person is and the way they look at their own lives. If Oprah sacraficed and still made it through her ups and downs to be this successful, I know I have the same potential to do that same.

MAKER Oprah Encourages Finding Your Significance (VIDEO)it