Wings to Fly

I hate writing so I am breaking it down to out what I am going to say in this blog. Lately I have so many issues. 1) Huge impacted from the previous job and afraid of repeating. Will pray to let fate say I can keep my current job and keep progressing in learning the materials. I just pray that my two supervisors won't give me a hard time. It freaks me out that when those two supervisors and the other big bosses get together and talk, it makes me think that I am the subject whom they are talking about. That's because they always appeared wherever I am at. Please... let me keep this job until I am ready to move on to the next door. I am not ready to move on. Keep me safe and sound. 2. My health is improving day by day but because it's summer time, it is so difficult to maintain of what I consume day by day. Each day of exercise, let it be progressing and eventually i can transform from a fat pig to a healthy pretty witty smart young lady. Praying that mom won't get close to being diabetic. 3 Since paternal grandma was ill, she was sent to the E.R. then transfer over to the rehab for recovery. Grandma and both aunts made a big fuzz over the littlest things ever. Grandma accused the entire Huang family that we are letting her die alone. I'm not sure if her oldness has turn her brain into a child. C'mon , no one in the family wants her to die, all we want is decide what's best for her to recover in a suitable environment. Sometimes this grandma thinks a bit too much and makes the entire family going against other. I wish this will stop with the terrible rumor and whining. It was a crisis! I hate this rumor spreading and blackmailing everyone besides them. Oh, stop it! I cried so much. 4. Sometimes I think a bit too much. I think I need professional help. I want to see a psychologist. I overly think of possible scenarios, things that I see in my dream but afraid of facing it in reality. I, sometimes collapsed and cried in the unclear setting. I hate and can't handle the moment of darkness. I wish people can be nicer to me. I want to have power to control of the things I am unable to. Help me! Pull me out of the darkness. I am terrified to be alone. I want to hug my teddy bear. Dream VS Reality. Dream feels so real but it's an illusion. I rather be in the dream world than the reality. I don't have the guidelines to surviving in the reality world. I been through ups and downs, riding the roller coaster. There are times when I can reach up high and other times I fall straight flat to the ground. I asked and wondered to myself, why is my life scripted the way it is? Can it be as what my friend have said once to me, to prepare and a learns on survival kit of having the taste of sweet, bitter, sour, spicy(hot). Life can be so harsh. People abuse this peaceful world that god has created. People, illness, money, and time are the things I am most terrified. I can never control time or have enough satisfaction in life of pleasing myself. What is it that I still need to complete this perfection? I wish life can be simple.

News

i will no longer use this blog. Have official moved on. I used up to the max with posting pictures

Night Eye of the Hudson River

We sailed the whole night in the bay of the Hudson River.  I was holla by a few ridiculous guys.
I can't believed around 4:00 am I was asleep!
 
 I was so tired and few hours later I had two doctors appointments. The first appointment was this surgery and it was well and the second was the dentist appointment.    The medication ware off and now I'm in a bit in pain.


Pictures of the night ( some pictures came out blurry)

Argg I missed the group hang out with Josie  ( my binghamton/friend- China's study abroad buddies) 

So my up-coming pictures events are going to DC, to see Josie, Philly with parents to meet and greet mom's sister(bff) and her lovely family for a day trip, Shu's hang out this coming up Tuesday, and Ling's reunited hang out.  So, I'll be busy like always and will keep updating more and more pictures.

<3 everyone and will keep everyone posted with pictures.

MeE MoR-iAl D...A..Y. WeEkEnD

I was glad things worked out after a changed of the plan from Saturday to Sunday because I got my medical check up all clear after running through a few tests with the two med specialists: internal , which is my regular primary care physical, and the Radiologist, he x-ray my lungs and chest.  The medications that I was on made my blood risk of high blood pressures and the pcp said, in the next 3 months I have to withdraw my blood again and MUST LOOSE WEIGHT.

I have a private mission to be on and wish me luck on making it all the way through in the next 3 months!!!


....This memorial day weekend we got together as a group and hang out.  Thanks goodness Allen drove out so we had the car.  We went to the sushi buffet .  I think next time we can try something new like eat Vietnamese food.  I'll recommend that out loud next time to the next hang out.  Ahhh!  great news..... Ling has 21 days left till I get to see her. I'll get to see her.  It has been a year since I've seen her.
Anyway, after the food we went to Brooklyn Botanic Garden.  The original plan was karaoke then movie, but Phillip and I rejected that plan because after the food from the buffet, we don't want to sit at the movie theater so it would be best is to walk it out.  Damn pollen, I teared so much and the allergy medicine wasn't even strong enough to stop my tears and my blocked tear ducts was so small that it leaked out of my tear ducts.

Here are the pictures....

The food we ate.

I 

I swear by... this looks like a family portrait but we have no clue who those two in the back area, but we all can be one big family.  Welcome to the family!  Say cheese ^_^!

Someone took a picture of my cute feet with my pink white strips shoes.  What on earth did that say?  I can read individual word but when it is put together...my mind is blank?

Pictures that I smile pretty.  

Here are the silly pictures of me trying to jump high into the sky but  still a failure-----:  __----: (sniff sniff)

Pictures that I look terrible in but I can careless because .... I'm in it.  It's my personal blog and hardly anyone knows about this blog so I don't care.  

 

This must be Allen's favorite photo.  I am so jealous of Allen because... he is so photogenic in all the pictures. He's so skinny and have a flawless look in every picture.  He out beats us girls.  If he was a girl, he would have won Photogenic award.  Arggg

Everyone wore jeans except me but we all wore blue.  Poor Phil.... he never smiles.t

Stay tune for the next blog.  There will be a group of different people. (***Hint***--- This group is wild N' fun and the event will be held on a midnight boat with my gals n guys friends.  I'll be wearing a dress).  Can't wait to see myself in a dress and make up.  Hopefully the pictures will turn pretty.

Question for the day:  Should I wear circle lenses for a few hours or are they a bit too dangerous and risky?